Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
