We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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