So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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