when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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