I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize