Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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