thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
