her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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