problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
