bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
what day is it and did you see me today?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize