you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
