wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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