we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
