Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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