So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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