My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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