But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
