White coat. Heels.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This house was built for laser tag.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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