I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
