She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
