At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
