hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found puke in my bra..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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