did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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