i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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