NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
