No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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