can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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