if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
