i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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