Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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