PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
