She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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