Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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