Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Someone signed my nipple.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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