Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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