I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
