I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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