you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
