I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
