I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
