The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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