In the future we'll all be gay
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
