I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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