i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
