Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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