He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
