It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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