we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish i was in the wii world.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
