I want to walk on stilts...naked
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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