do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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