well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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