I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
