so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
