i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize