Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
God, I missed his penis.
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