so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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