im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm passing your future prison.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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