His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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