Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
