"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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