I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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