She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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