There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
