I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i believe in u and ur pee
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize