That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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