He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
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This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
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I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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