You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize